Letters of my life
by Neheigh Fluffydoodle
Summary: Kyoko receives a battered box from the president the night before her 18th birthday at the Happy grateful party, but who are these letters from? where are they leading to? and what is the truth behind her Corn stone?- Soft and mushy to the core or so I have been told :)
1. Chapter 1

******Just a warning I am Dyslexic so my stories will not be perfect but I now have one Beta reader to help me along the way :D**

******Thank you so much to Roshelle Diall for offering to work with me :D**

******Hello my sweeties,**

******Well you can well and truly blame Cana99**

******for this new fic it is totally her fault after**

******talking about story ideas all last night**

******I have been unable to get this one out of my head all day.**

******Enjoy.**

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******Letters of My Life.**

Kanae knocked on the door and listened until the voice called out,

"Come in." a choked voice called as Kanae pushed open the door and entered.

"Mo! I can't believe you're really crying all because of a dress." Kanae groaned as she looked at her best friend who sat before a large vanity mirror, tears streaming down her face.

"Mo, at least let me see what all the fuss is over." she said as she walked towards the girl. Kyoko stood slowly from the chair. Stepping to the side she turned towards Kanae. She couldn't help but gasp, she hadn't even meant to do it since that wasn't like her at all, but as she looked at her best friend, her reaction was one of true awe. She could only be described simply as a princess.

The gold dress was what all little girls dream of wearing when they heard those princess stories as children. As Kanae looked closer she realised it was a lot like a dress she had seen in one of those stories, 'Beauty and the Beast' was it? She couldn't really recall now but it certainly was stunning. The tightly laced top with the silken scarfed neckline was beautifully decorated with small glittering gems and embroidery leading down to the sashed and bowed skirt with the layers of material falling full yet delicately.

___It must have a small under bodice_

she decided as she smiled and nodded. The outfit was perfect, right down the the elbow length golden gloves, golden sandals and even the small tiara that had been placed in her hair after Jelly Woods had expertly styled it for her.

"Mo, you look great! Why are you so upset?" Kanae asked thinking honestly she wished someone would buy her something like it.

"Moko-san, how can I accept this? I know Dad said Mom had it made specially for me and everything and Mom looked so happy when I put it on but Moko it must have cost so much!" the young woman looked distraught, happy, anxious and completely euphoric all in the same moment.

"Mo, you baka you're not 18 every day! You know it's your birthday gift! Stop looking a gift horse in the mouth, you like it don't you?" she crossed her arms and stared at the girl.

"Yes." Kyoko couldn't meet her eyes.

"It's the type of dress you have always dreamed of wearing." Kanae was smiling at the uncomfortable look on her friend's face. The truth is so easy with this one.

"Yes." Kyoko started shuffling her feet so Kanae went in for the kill.

"So why are you upsetting Julie-sama by not accepting it? I bet she thinks you don't like it the way you went on crying so they couldn't even fix your make-up." ___Bingo_ Kanae thought as Kyoko's head suddenly snapped up.

She knew that Julie had come out of the room to her husband smiling at how much Kyoko loved the dress, but she wasn't about to tell Kyoko that, now was she?

"She probably feels heartbroken. She probably thinks you don't like it even after she spent all that time designing it and having it made." She continued in a whimsical tone.

"Oh, Moko-san what do I do? I don't want to upset Mom (Julie had insisted upon first meeting Kyoko that she call her this). What can I do to show her how wonderful and kind she is?" Kyoko was looking at her with begging eyes.

___You're too easy to manipulate_

Kanae sighed inwardly with a chuckle but none of this showed on her face as she faced Kyoko with a stern look,

"Mo, you can wear the dress and smile for a start! Now you are to calm down in here and after a while Jelly will come back and do your make-up for you to rejoin the party." Kyoko nodded at Kanae's words,

"Were you worried about me Moko-san?" Kyoko asked as Kanae scowled at her. She had been worried yes, but she was here by orders from the top.

"Mo, I was just wondering how much trouble you were causing for yourself but also the president asked me to give you this along with the message 'You are to read all these in order. It will give you something to do while you wait for Ten.' so I suppose I better leave you to it." she passed Kyoko the battered shoe box and turned to leave.

"Do you know what it is, Moko-san?" she asked a little worried

"Mo, how should I know? Just open the damned thing!" and with that she was gone out of the door and away. Walking back down the hall she entered the study without knocking. The room had a few people standing and sitting around as she nodded to the president.

"Job done." Lory nodded, a very happy smile on his face as he looked over the gathered people. Kanae went and sat next to Chiori who smiled at her. Kuu, Julie and Ten sat chatting while Yashiro stood looking worried and confused,

"President, where is Ren? I thought he was coming to? Shall I go and find him?" Lory grinned at the nervous young manager as the side door to the study opened.

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Kyoko sat back at the vanity unit and opened the box before her. It was full of what looked like letters. Picking them up, she noticed on the corners of the letters, the numbers 10-21.

"Well I guess if I'm to read them in order I start at ten. Picking up the topmost envelope she read the name on the front,

"Dear Kyoko-chan" her heart stopped. The writing was neat, but it seemed whoever had written it was unused to writing Japanese. It was almost childlike, she thought as she opened the envelope and pulled out the slightly crumpled paper. Within the first line her heart was racing,

___How? How could this be true?_

LETTER TEN:

******Dear Kyoko-chan,**

******I hope you are well, even though I'm not sure when you will get this letter it's something I've been told I must write to my future wife.**

******I never really explained about that stone I gave you, but now I really must because that little stone has caused me no end of trouble lately. The stone I gave you is actually called a sapphire, but a very special kind. A rare variety of natural sapphire, known as color-changing sapphire which is why it has that magical way of changing colour when you turn it in light.**

******That sapphire is given to every son in my family by the family head my grandfather. It is to be kept and when the right time comes is to be made into something beautiful for someone special to you. If this doesn't happen, we are supposed to present it at the family gathering on the 25thDecember every year or present it to the special someone.**

******This year I gave my stone to you. I had only received it at my tenth birthday so when I was unable to produce the special stone or the special someone you can imagine how my family took it. Mom cried and Dad was a little angry, but the rest of the family mainly Aunt Toshi were furious. They said I would never marry well and that I had brought a curse down upon myself. I don't really believe in curses and I'm not too bothered about getting married so I didn't take it to mean much. The only one who didn't speak was grandfather and I rather like him so I just prayed he wasn't angry at me.**

******But he wasn't. He sent everyone away but me and then asked me to tell him about you Kyoko-chan. So I told him all about how nice you are and about all the things we did together and how you call me Corn. He seemed happy and asked me why I gave you my precious stone and the truth is Kyoko-chan I just hated seeing you cry. It hurt me to watch your tears, it felt like a piece of me was being torn away but when you smiled that little piece of me was really happy. So no matter what anyone says and whether I'm now cursed or not I will never regret giving you my stone Kyoko-chan.**

******Grandfather asked me if I ever found you to care for you as the stone meant so much to our family. He asked if I would uphold my decision of who I gave the stone to and I told him I would. You mean alot to me Kyoko-chan. Before I met you, I thought Japanese people were all like the ones that hang around Dad all the time but you're different. So grandfather told me from now on instead of presenting my stone I would write and present a letter telling you about my life. When the day finally comes for me to return for you and my stone you can read about all the things I have done and I will then be able to listen to all the things you have done.**

******I really do hope this letter finds you well,**

******Kuon Hizuri**

Her heart was racing as she re-read the name signed at the bottom of the letter. It wasn't a mistake, it definitely said his name.

"Kuon!" she looked down at the smudges of small finger prints and even though at the neatly- written, slightly off letter to herself and her heart skipped.

___Corn!My dear Corn was really Kuu and Julie's son?_

It took a few moments for her to settle her heart, it was racing almost skipping as she tried to realise just what was going on. Her stone was a precious gem? Kuon saying he would come get her and the stone? These letters? How was all this happening? Why does the president have these? Thinking was too hard. Her brain was too full with emotions to think clearly, so instead she picked up letter 11

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******Hello my dears**

******so what do we think?**

******Is this something you would like to read more of?**

******As you have probably guessed each letter will be a year of Kuon's life**

******let me know what you think**

******R&R please**

******as if people aren't interested I can stick to my other projects :D**

******Neh xxx**


	2. Chapter 2

**Just a warning I am Dyslexic so my stories will not be perfect but I now have one Beta reader to help me along the way :D**

**Thank you so much to Roshelle Diall for offering to work with me :D**

**Hello my sweeties,**

**Woohoo Cheesehead101 for being the first reviewer XD**

**glad it made you happy.**

**I was so shocked your review came in under 5 minutes of the story being posted and the fact I got 2 reviews before I had even settled on a cover image thank you.**

**So on with letter 11...**

**Enjoy.**

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The stationery was the same as the first letter.

"Dear Kyoko-chan" written in the same handwriting as the first letter. Slowly opening the envelope and pulling out the letter, Kyoko tried to steady her mind. Her need to read the letter was immense as she tried to stop the shaking in her hands, slowly unfolding the letter she noticed the writing was a little more readable and a little more correct.

**Dear Kyoko-chan,**

**So it has come to this time of year again. The family is all together and there are five stones this year and two introductions. But as ever, I am the black sheep as Aunt Toshi likes to whisper out loud so Mom hears her. I was worried that Mom would cry again and Dad would be mad, but this year they seem a little different. They both smile at me and tell me to go and report to my grandfather so here I am again in his study writing you my second letter.**

**I sit here wondering what I would say to you if you were here in person and I had introduced you to my family, though at just seven, I suppose you wouldn't understand the deeper meaning of it. I hope you still cherish my sapphire as you said you would and that you haven't lost it. Most of all I hope it makes you smile when you are sad and that it takes away all the worry and fears and makes you feel better. That's my only wish.**

**Well let me think this year has been a busy year. I will be 12 soon and on my way to junior high school which I'm really excited about. Me and my best friend Mark are going to the same school specially made for people wanting to be performers. Of course, we have to do all the normal subjects like maths and English and boring stuff like that, but we also get to do drama, stage work and other really amazing things. I'm really looking forward to it. Though speaking of school I wonder how you are doing? I wonder did you ever get 100% on that English test you told me about before I left? You looked so determined I'm sure you did well and for once you mom would praise you, how could she not? You try so hard at everything you do.**

**Dad and Mom have had really busy years too. Dad got a really big part in a big action movie and he was amazing! Kyoko-chan you would've loved it! He played a kind of prince role rescuing the princess from the evil wizard, saving the day and making the princess fall in love with him. Mom has also expanded on her own dream. She has always been a model, I told you how beautiful she was and still is. She has done a bit of acting and she was good at that too. It seems she is amazing at everything but cooking. She tried to cook a roast chicken the other day. I don't know what she put on it, but I think that might be the first time I've ever seen my dad nearly turn down food! But he ate it in the end after she looked like she was about to cry I think he must have an iron stomach or something as the tiny piece I had almost made me sick.**

**Well I was telling you the good news mom has finally started up her own range of clothing! She has always loved clothes and wearing them, but since her clothes line 'Little Sweethearts' hit the stores she has been thrown into the fashion world in a really big way and she loves it. She still does a little modelling and acting, but Dad says she has found her true vocation in life. I asked him what that meant and he told me it means she has found the job she was born to do and I made him laugh saying that I was born to act just like him. But I really think that's true Kyoko-chan, I really do want to be just like my father.**

**Even if it will be hard to get out from his shadow since I have my friends like Mark to help me I'm sure I will do it just like you told me I could. I've been more positive about this since I met you and you told me one day I would fly so high no one would catch me and I'm aiming for the sky Kyoko-chan. I don't how I would ever be able to find you and bring you to meet my family? Well I better go I can hear them starting to get ready for dinner and I still need to present grandfather with this letter before I will be allowed to attend the meal. Though saying that, I think I would rather eat in the kitchen than have to sit by listening to Aunt Toshi telling everyone I'm going to be a failure in love.**

**I hope you're happy and well,**

**Kuon Hizuri**

Kyoko's heart was pounding it was so clear with this letter that her friend Corn whom she had loved, adored and admired so much for being her fairy prince was in fact the real son of the people she called Mom and Dad. Her heart clenched remembering her father's words,

"Kuon is gone from this world." and she dreaded reading on would she find in these letters the truth of her friend's demise? Would at one point the letters just stop? There were 11 letters, she could see that so if there were 11 letters...

She just had to know.

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**Thank you all again and for everyone who reviewed**

**it makes me happy to think there are people out**

**their who are looking forward to reading my work**

**as much as I am looking forward to writing it.**

**Please R&R**

**Neh xxx**


	3. Chapter 3

**Just a warning I am Dyslexic so my stories will not be perfect but I now have one Beta reader to help me along the way :D**

**Thank you so much to Roshelle Diall for offering to work with me :D**

**Hello my sweeties,**

**well I'm at home today there is a festival going on**

**in the city I live by, my partner works for the venue**

**so he has already warned me early this morning that traffic**

**may be stupidly busy so I decided to stay home and catch up**

**on all the little things I say**

**'oh I'll do it later'**

**so why am I sitting here writing more chapters**

"**shhhhhh"**

**he doesn't read my stories so how will he know :P**

**as long as everywhere is clean by the time he comes home XD**

**Enjoy.**

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She just had to know. Was he really dead? Had her fairy prince truly left this world for another? She grabbed the next letter, 13 was written in the corner she hardly glanced at the

"Kyoko-chan" written on the front as she tore open the letter eager to hear more of her friend.

**Hello Kyoko-chan,**

**Again I am here sitting and listening to the family talk about me being a disappointment. I will never marry well, I was stupid, I was dumb and that you have probably made yourself a small fortune by selling off the uncut gem. My parents and grandfather try to keep my spirits up, but the fact is I'm so used to this by now. I will never reach my father and I will never gain true love like he has. I will always be nothing more than the stupid, big headed son of a famous Hollywood actor that gets roles just because his father is a big shot.**

**That's what Mark says anyway and everyone else at school. Some mornings I don't even want to get out of bed. Why bother dragging myself out of bed when all I have to look forward to is more lies, more hate and more often than not another fist, foot or other part of somebody's body as they beat me to the floor? This world is a cold, dark and ruthless place Kyoko-chan. If I had a choice I would leave it all behind and take you with me for fear one day you will feel the same crushing feeling I have everyday. Some days I wish for the magic of my sapphire. I wish I could do as I told you once and draw out all my worry and sorrows into that blue stone, but you have probably already realised by now that I am no fairy prince and that stone isn't really magic at all.**

**You probably hate me just as much as everyone else for lying to you, but still I have to sit and write this letter. I don't want to upset my grandfather or parents though sometimes I wish they weren't mine. You were wrong Kyoko-chan, there is no way I will ever be able to fly free. I've tried and it's probably where most of my troubles began. Mark went for the same roles and a few of my classmates, but when I got them they all started the rumours off. I only get roles because of my father, it's not like I have talent, it's just the family name. Who doesn't know the name of Hizuri in our industry? It made me so angry Kyoko-chan I wanted to shout at everyone that it's me who is acting, not my father, but that would have been just as useless. I played the roles, but I was never brilliant. I would get a thank you and a pat on the back, but I wasn't my father at the end of the day and they could see that.**

**Dad told me to keep my chin up and that I just need to work on building my character. Once I've figured that out he told me I would be a wonderful actor. Mom agreed. Of course they would, that's their job. To comfort me when I fail, but they don't know about school. I hide most of the bruises and if I get a black eye or a broken bone I lie of course. It was an accident or we were playing. I suppose I should be happy they trust me so much and the way they're smiling as they tell people 'Boys will be boys.' whatever that means. Sometimes I wish they were not famous.**

**Sometimes I wish for normal parents, or I wish they could see through my lies to the pain I'm feeling inside. But even though they still love me and see me every week no matter how busy they are, they fail to see how much I'm suffering because of their names, because of how famous they are. Some days I don't want to move, I would just rather curl up in a ball and try and escape the world. What's the point Kyoko-chan? What is the point of trying to be better when all anyone ever does is push you back down again?**

**I hope you are at least happy, I hope you still hold and cherish my sapphire as sometimes it's only thoughts of your smile that make me able to make it through the day. It's only the sound of your laugh that rings through my head, that keeps me able to put on a smile before my parents. It's only you that will ever know how I feel right now if you ever receive this letter.**

**Kuon Hizuri**

The paper long stained with the tear drops of her childhood friend now bear witness to new tears. The ink ran slightly as her tears were flowing free and fast as she covered her sobs with her hand

_Oh Corn. My dear, sweet Corn how could I ever hate you? Why did you keep all of this bottled inside? Your parents would have understood, they would have helped you. Why try and take on the world alone?_

She knew the reason. It was also why she had taken it upon herself to get revenge on Fuwa Sho when she could've just as easily ruined his career by going to the press with her story? Because Corn had his own self pride and he wanted to prove to the world that he could do it alone. It was only recently that Kyoko herself had started to realise this was stupid. There are some things in life you couldn't do alone.

She thought back to her début movie that would be released on the 26thDecember. Just one day away now she had worked so hard for this moment. But it wasn't just her, she had not done it alone, there were so many people that had helped her along the way and supported her. She had friends now, she had people that cared about her deeply. She looked down at the beautiful dress made by the mother of the child in these letters. Had they ever read them? Did they know about them? She thought about the people waiting in the party venue laughing, dancing and joking, all of them dear to her.

She thought about the movie more. It wasn't just her début but Kanae's and Chiori's also. It had been specially written for all of them on Lory's insistence. It was a wonderful story about three friends who grew up together in an orphanage and their lives after leaving but always keeping in touch with each other, always being friends. It was their growth through the sad and hard times, their joy and laughter at the good times. Her best friends never once complained that they had to wait until December to release the film and not once did they say anything about it being her fault that they had to wait for her to be 18 due to having no parental consent.

She had got to work with Ren again, for a short time on the film. He had played as her love interest and then later her husband before dying in a freak accident. She had been able to act out giving birth, having a young child and losing the love of her life and left to cope with her friends assistance she had survived.

As she sat there the movie really did show the president's favourite subject in so many ways. 'Love' was virtually in every scene, in every scene you could see the love between the three women, you saw the love between Kyoko's character and Ren's character as well as the love they both had for their child. You saw the love as Kanae's character struggled with admitting to her two best friends she was a lesbian and the love of how they supported her and later her and her partner as they fought for the right to be together. Kyoko smiled to herself remembering how worried Kanae had been by her role, but how well she had acted out her part with Momose Itsumi. If she wouldn't have known any better she would have said on set the two girls really were in love, but she knew off set they were just good friends.

Chiori had chosen a different path, she had become wealthy and successful in the end, running her own fashion magazine only to later, after many failed relationships, fall in love with the one person who had always been there supporting her. Another friend from the orphanage they had all grown up in. When the time came that the orphanage was to be closed down it was she that saved it and then together with her husband and her two best friends were the people that worked together to help other children like themselves.

Kyoko sighed. Truly that story showed love at its highest degree, it showed every aspect of love which as Lory had told them was what he was looking for in a film for his Love Me ladies.

_Corn, you needed your family. Oh how I wish I could have been there for you. I never asked about your life, I only ever cried about my own. I'm so sorry Corn._

She had begun now and she knew she wouldn't be able to stop so she picked up the next letter...

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**I wonder if how easy these chapters are writing today**

**whether I will even finish this story today XD**

**Please R&R**

**Neh xxx**


	4. Chapter 4

**Just a warning I am Dyslexic so my stories will not be perfect but I now have one Beta reader to help me along the way :D**

**Thank you so much to Roshelle Diall for offering to work with me :D**

**Hello my sweeties,**

**Well I'm still going :)**

**Enjoy.**

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She dried away her tears as with a shaking hand she reached for letter 14. This one felt a little heavier in her hand as she picked it up, a little thicker and her heart stopped. Was this a bad sign? She looked at her name written clearly on the front.

"To Kyoko-chan," her heart was heavy with emotion as well as her mind but she just couldn't not read it not now for she had gone too far already.

**Hi Kyoko-chan,**

**Well another year has come and gone, and here I am again with pen in hand writing yet another letter to you. It makes me laugh because you probably don't even remember me by now and if you haven't sold my sapphire or lost it, it's probably at the bottom of some box somewhere never to be seen again.**

**Least I'm not gonna bore myself stupid about how bad my life is this year. Yeah maybe I don't have the best life or the best family, but at least I have a friend now. His name's Rick and from the first moment I met him he's changed my life. I'm no longer that worthless little sucker I was before Rick taught me what being a man is really about. Though I think my mom walking into the bedroom with me and Rachel naked or was it Monica oh well whichever it was I think they realise now I'm no longer a child.**

**Rick's teaching me everything about fighting. How to stand up for myself and how not to be a chicken, but its been a long journey. I've enclosed some pictures for you if you ever read these letters which I doubt, they will make you smile, (**Kyoko quickly pulled the three pictures from the envelope and smiled**) The first picture is of my rooster. Rick got him in the hope that I would learn a basic thing about life, it's followed by death. Yet even though he called me a chicken when I instead gave him chicken nuggets that I bought I still understood the meaning behind what he was telling me, to be stronger I have to fight. To be stronger I have to be willing to go to any means.**

**The other two pictures are of the two hens we later got to keep him company as mom said. It was sad for him to be alone, he now lives in a hen coop in our garden and seems to do OK. The last picture is of me with all of them (**Kyoko couldn't look at that picture quick enough there in the picture was a tall teenager, his blond hair shining as he sat in a chicken coop a rooster on his head and two chickens in his lap, Kyoko's heart leapt he looked so happy.**) Well I have no idea why I brought them along, it's not like you will probably ever read the letters but I just thought it would be nice so I will seal them in with the letter too.**

**Mark and his cronies don't bother me anymore. None of the boys do at school, not after Rick became my friend though I do get a lot of attention from the ladies which is very enjoyable. Me and Rick have a good time together we drink a bit and he even taught me how to smoke which I think makes me look pretty cool if I do say so myself. But I just wish Rick wouldn't go on so much about love and true love. Lately he has this new girlfriend Tina and he keeps telling me if I want to keep a good relationship I need to understand the magic of a woman, but for the life of me I have no idea what he's talking about.**

**I've been thinking lately that maybe the acting life isn't for me. The directors and other actors are just all stuck up and annoying, all they think about is being on time, following the script and doing it exactly right. It's really stupid and then when I get an NG and argue they just get even more stupid over this whole professionalism crap they sprout about. What's the point in doing it if you don't enjoy the role. Really, I got fired the other day for having a woman in my dressing room all we were doing was having a little fun, why the make-up artist had to go and tell the director I'll never know.**

**Oh well, guess I've been in here long enough now to please them all so maybe I can go and get something to drink from one of my older cousins.**

**Hope wherever you are that you are OK and happy Kyoko-chan.**

**Kuon Hizuri**

This letter left her feeling a little mixed up emotionally. Surely at 14 Corn wouldn't be doing...THAT! With women would he? What does he mean they were only having a little fun in his dressing room? Her head was spinning how could he think professionalism was rubbish? How could he be so nonchalant about being sacked? She had no idea what to think of this new Corn the letter portrayed though in the picture of him with the chickens she could still see that twinkle in the lanky teenager who had yet to really grow into his looks.

_I hope he settles down a little bit or I can see him getting hurt._

she thought as she looked at the letter again.

His mother walked in on him with a naked girl and he can't even remember her name.

She hadn't even seen the scene but still she felt colour rising to her cheeks, Corn's voice in her ears as he was trying to console his mother,

"_We were only having a bit of fun Mom. Jeez lighten up, will you?_"

she could hear the voice over and over trying to imagine it a little deeper, maybe by this point his voice had already broken? But she couldn't imagine it. All she could hear was Corn's voice as that ten year old that had comforted her all those years ago.

She placed the letter down and reached for the next.

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**I wonder if how easy these chapters are writing today**

**whether I will even finish this story today XD**

**I hope you can all see in his letters the way Ren is changing**

**as he grows up**

**Please R&R**

**Neh xxx**


	5. Chapter 5

**Just a warning I am Dyslexic so my stories will not be perfect but I now have one Beta reader to help me along the way :D**

**Thank you so much to Roshelle Diall for offering to work with me :D**

**Hello my sweeties,**

**not even gonna say anything :)**

**Enjoy.**

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She noticed the difference in this letter immediately. It was not in the same stationery, it was a formal brown envelope which looked to be something that had already been used. The address on it originally had been scribbled out so violently that she was sure the pen must have gone through the envelope. She turned it over in her hands. There was no name on this one but there was still the little number 15 in the corner, the already used tab stuck down by sticky tape which she peeled back slowly to reveal the beaten, battered letter. Within the letter must have been in the envelope when Kuon had scribbled out the address so hard it had pierced the envelope leaving heavy biro marks on the letter itself.

The letter too was different. It wasn't well looked after like the others had been. Even if the letters before had been, it gave off a completely different feel like it had been crumpled up multiple times before being flattened out and used then crumpled up some more, she could see the tears and tear stains before she even opened the note and realised what Kuu had told her.

"I haven't seen my son since he was 15 years old."

Was this that letter? Was this going to tell her of her friend's demise? What should she expect from this mess of a letter? She had no choice if she wanted answers she would have to face her fears and open the letter

_There are still six more letters. If the letters don't stop, maybe he didn't either._

She prayed with all her heart to believe what she was telling herself, but how can one believe against what they already believe to be fact? Taking a deep breath she carefully unfolded the letter, scared of ripping it more than it already was,

**Kyoko I don't even have a right any more to write you. How could a murderer such as myself be worthy of someone so good, pure and innocent as you? But I couldn't sleep and all I could think was what I would be doing if I had gone tonight.**

**I did a terrible thing Kyoko. I haven't left my home in months. I don't deserve to be in this world any more. I don't deserve a life...**

the writing became unreadable here and Kyoko's heart was dying inside as she cried silently looking at the letter before her.

**It was all my fault Kyoko. Mark challenged me, telling me we would settle it once and for all, just me and him one on one. There was, of course more of his cronies there and they beat me like they never had before. Something snapped in me Kyoko, I don't know what it was but I couldn't see or feel anything but anger. The next thing I knew...**

Tear stains obscured the writing again with lots of crossed out words below. Kyoko's heart was pounding, she couldn't hear, she could hardly breathe. Only the sound of her own heart was resounding inside her head

**He was lying there dying while Tina was screaming, telling me I'm a murderer. Telling me it was my fault...**

Again the letter became illegible. The ink had run so badly it merged and swirled. There were no longer visible tear stains, it seemed as if the entire part of the letter had been submerged in water. She knew it hadn't but she guessed at this time her beloved Corn had cried so much it had soaked the letter.

**No one blamed me but Tina which hurts all the more. Why can they fail to see it's my fault Rick is dead. No I wasn't driving the car that hit him but they had been aiming for me. Mark had been aiming to kill me but Rick... (**tear stains**) Rick chose to save me instead of his own life. He pushed me out of the way Kyoko, it should have been me that night, not him that died. It should have been me.**

She gave up trying to read any more. The few words she could read were few and far between

_Oh Corn, how can you blame yourself? Rick chose his own path, not you._

She cried for a long time for her friend's loss, but she just had to know. She had to know what happened to that scared boy who wrote this letter, she reached for the next.

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

**Please R&R**

**I don't think I needed to say much else this chapter**

**Neh xxx**


	6. Chapter 6

**Just a warning I am Dyslexic so my stories will not be perfect but I now have one Beta reader to help me along the way :D**

**Thank you so much to Roshelle Diall for offering to work with me :D**

**Hello my sweeties,**

**sorry ShadowHawk**

**didnt mean to make you cry :(**

**Enjoy.**

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

Her hand hovered over the next letter. She really needed to see what came next but still she didn't know if her heart was ready for this. This would be the moment she would find out what became of her friend. The envelope was neat and plain but not the same stationery as the first four yet loads better than the next five. She could see them. 16 in the corner and this time her name written on the front again but the handwriting was different and her name was different simply written,

'Kyoko'

She picked up the envelope, taking a deep breath she broke the seal and pulled out the neatly folded letter. It was perfection. If she had to take a guess she would even think the paper had been ironed before folding to make the damage of the crease less. With fumbling fingers, she opened the letter and let out a heart rending sob at the first part of the letter.

**Kyoko,**

**I no longer feel we shall ever meet again. Kuon Hizuri is dead.**

She couldn't breathe for the sobs that racked her entire body as she trembled with emotion, but she had to know how? she had to know why?

**He has died within me, I am no longer able to be the boy you once knew. I am no longer able to walk in his shoes. Whether I will ever allow him to live again depends on how I live my life from now on.**

**Not long after I last wrote you I was propositioned by my father's boss in Japan, He came and removed me from my self-depressed world where I surely would have died in self pity and self loathing. He offered to make my life anew, giving me a new name and a new life so I could make of it what I wished. He offered to set the stage for me. Who was I to say no? I needed to get away, needed to become someone else. Someone who wouldn't hurt people, who could be called a good man even if inside I still held the soul of a murderer.**

**So I have been in Japan almost a year and it has not been easy. Boss told me he would take me here but that my life was my own. He would not interfere in my work though he has looked after me in his own way. My hard work has started to pay off recently and Boss says that my acting skills are improving every day. I've had a few very minor roles which have been good and the other day Boss said he has a leading role coming soon for me so I will be looking into that in the next few days along with a manager that he says will hopefully be able to keep up with me. I've already been through five different ones who just couldn't keep up with the schedule I keep but he says he has the perfect guy for me now. We will just have to see how it goes.**

**I still struggle sometimes with my past, but its getting easier everyday to keep and hold my new name's mask. I'm not ready just yet to put that name on paper for you not until I know that I'm worthy of you. I've not spoken to my parents since the day I left, I took nothing with me but my passport and I have promised I will not go back until I am able to do so under my own power. The day I am ready to return back to my parents side is the day I hope I will be worthy of telling you my name. The only person I have corresponded with is my grandfather. He sent me a letter to tell me my last letter arrived with him safe and sound. I hardly remember writing it, but he insists that I continue this journey through letters so as always, I am sitting here in my own apartment which seems like anything but home, writing you this letter to send back to my grandfather in case that day ever comes when I'm worthy of you, Kyoko. **

**As always, I hope you are well and happy**

**Me**

Kyoko's brain wasn't working, she couldn't grasp what this meant.

_Does this mean Corn is alive?_

She looked back down at the letter,

_Yes, it does mean Corn is alive, but he is living as someone else. Someone who is an actor for somebody called Boss_

Thinking back, Kyoko sat for a moment and tried her hardest to think whatever it was that was trying to squirm its way out of the turmoil of her mind. What was it that was so important? Why the hell was her brain so foggy?

_Dad calls president Boss_

That was the thought that had been trying to escape. Now set free, the cogs in her head seemed to be rolling again ever so slowly.

_So it could be the president that saved Corn. So does that mean Corn works for LME? But no, Corn said that the president didn't help him with his career at all... or does that just mean that Corn had to get into the company himsel?f Is he with another company?_

There were still lots of thoughts spinning in her head but she just couldn't think straight anymore. It was too much to take in all in one go.

_Corn was alive living under another name in the same business she was working in and possibly for the same company._

There were very few names that fit that category at the age Corn would be now but one hit her with force as she tried to shake it out of her head into being. Could it really be...

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

**Please R&R**

**So we are off and rolling in Japan I'm sorry**

**if any of the things I write are incorrect or AU but I'm**

**working to memory of scraps from the manga**

**as Kuon's Japan days guild XD**

**Neh xxx**


	7. Chapter 7

**Just a warning I am Dyslexic so my stories will not be perfect but I now have one Beta reader to help me along the way :D**

**Thank you so much to Roshelle Diall for offering to work with me :D**

**Hello my sweeties,**

**well chores are done and even cooked a homemade meal**

**so I won't get shouted at**

**back to the story :D**

**Enjoy.**

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

There were very few names that fit that category at the age Corn would be now but one hit her with force as she tried to shake it out of her head into being. Could it really be? No, it couldn't be him it just couldn't be him. She looked down at the letters left. 17 was next, there was only one way to find out. She gritted her teeth and picked up the next envelope.

**Kyoko-chan,**

**Seems a long time since I called you that, though I've been thinking of you a lot more the last two days, probably because of the Boss's loss. Sadly, his daughter-in-law has died in a freak plane crash. It happened only yesterday morning, everyone is distraught, but none more so than Boss, she was like a daughter to him. His son and granddaughter are as well. I think Maria-chan was hit the hardest and I'm scared she may blame herself for the accident as she asked her mom to come home for her birthday yesterday which is why she was sadly on the plane.**

**I think you would like Maria-chan, she is your perfect little princess and honestly I wish you were here with me now Kyoko-chan. You could probably tell her better than me that it's not her fault and she's not to blame for the loss of her mother. But she won't hear it from us, she blames herself and even her father has turned away from her in his grief. It scares me that the longer he looks away from Maria the more she will blame herself. But Boss has stepped in, taking them both into his home to grieve as a family.**

**My year has been really busy. My new manager though is amazing and he has become slowly but surely a true best friend as well. Even though he does have his quirks. For example, he cannot hold any electronic device without wearing gloves. Can you imagine the number of mobile phones he goes through? Maybe it's magic? Hehe but no he is a great guy though he is a bit of a fangirl when it comes down to it. My career has continued to grow and grow this year. I completed that job that I mentioned in my last letter. It was called, 'Mars Cluster' an interesting SciFi drama. Maybe one day if we ever do meet again I will let you watch it though there are lots more opportunities. Now I've officially got my début. At this current time, I'm working on three dramas and even started a bit of modelling with a company called Rmandy. It is different but I'm really enjoying it.**

**It's been almost two years now since I spoke to my parents. Half the time I wonder if they have given up on me. Was I really such a worthless son? But I suppose they have their reasons. It's not like I've contacted them and if they are waiting for me to make the first move they have a little longer to wait. I'm becoming more known in Japan, but I need to make it bigger than my father before I go home to them. Though with my name getting more well-known and more job offers who knows what my future holds?**

**Kyoko, I hope you are living the perfect life you deserve. Still, as ever, you remain on my mind even as I grow older I still remember that little girl with pigtails by the creek in Kyoto.**

**Me**

She dropped the letter onto the pile of already read letters.

_**There is no one else it could be.**_

Her head was pounding

_**How could he not tell me this? Does he even realise? Or is this just some big prank?**_ **God, my head hurts**

She was confused and she felt drained. How could they do this to her now? What the hell were they trying to accomplish? Why had the boss sent these to her now?

_God, I think this is a good reason to start up drinking._

She chuckled at her own thoughts as she looked at the already read letters and then back to the box. Number 18 was lying there, watching her, waiting for her to read it and waiting to spill out secrets that she wasn't sure she wanted to hear. But this was her job, this was what the president had told her to do and she always obeyed the president.

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

**Please R&R**

**So we are off and rolling in Japan I'm sorry**

**if any of the things I write are incorrect or AU but I'm**

**working to memory of scraps from the manga**

**as Kuon's Japan days guild XD**

**Neh xxx**


	8. Chapter 8

**Just a warning I am Dyslexic so my stories will not be perfect but I now have one Beta reader to help me along the way :D**

**Thank you so much to Roshelle Diall for offering to work with me :D**

**Hello my sweeties,**

**7 letters down 4 to go.**

**Enjoy.**

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

She sighed, she knew she should probably stop and think about everything she had learnt but truly did she want to? Did she want to think that Ren, the one man who made her feel safe, the one guy she had successfully acted out love with, had lied to her? Did she really want him to be her fairy prince? But this dark past, the darkness she had seen within him when they acted as the Heel siblings, how could that be ignored? How else could it be explained? The letters, his darkness it all seemed to fit somehow.

Reaching over, she grabbed number 18

"Kyoko-chan"

_Well there are four left. You can do this Kyoko! Chin up only four to go and then we will think, then we will look at what we know._

The stationery was the same as the last two, the same neat writing in perfect Japanese script.

_Well, here goes nothing..._

**Kyoko-chan,**

**I'm trying to decide if I'm going mad or if I'm just delusional. There is a very pretty woman in my bed and all I can think about is writing this letter to a young girl who I don't even know if she remembers me or if I will ever see her again. I no longer have anyone to tell me to write these letters. Each year I do send them to my grandfather but there is no one making me sit here on the 25****th** **December telling me I must present the letter today. Still it's almost like a burning need inside me to do so.**

**I lay there in bed, a nagging irritation in the back of my mind like there was something there just bursting to escape. It wasn't until I sat down at my desk and started writing this letter to you that the feeling went away. Isn't it mad how much writing these letters to you means to me? I wonder do you still have my sapphire stone? Are you happy? Are you well? Did you ever get your so called prince to love you in return Kyoko-chan? Though in a letter like this I think it is safe to say from what you told me that he isn't worthy of you and that I hope he never breaks your heart.**

**My year has been a whirlwind of work, work and more work, but I've loved every single minute of my acting career. How could I have ever said professionalism is stupid? You know I've made a pretty good name for myself about always being on time? It's such a silly little thing but it makes me so happy. 'The Never Late King' some people have even called me, it makes me really happy. I no longer struggle with my mask it's as if this is who I have always been or maybe who I was meant to become? I don't know but guess who is on his road to becoming the number one actor in Japan? I've grown up a lot in such a short time not only mentally but physically too or so I've been told. I still train daily and work out. You know sometimes when I train I think maybe one day I will fly for you once more? Isn't that strange how much you still invade my thoughts.**

**I still haven't spoken to my mom and dad. Sometimes I think about picking up the phone when I realise it has been three years already since we last spoke. What are you supposed to say after three years apart? Will they even accept me as a son anymore? Or have I made it clear I'm no longer a part of their family? I don't speak of this to anyone, but I think sometimes Boss understands and he will let out snippets of private talks he has had with my parents, even making me laugh when he told me Mom calls him kidnapper-kun. I'm really working hard and next year I hope will be the best year yet for me career wise. Boss has hinted at some big things coming up for me in the near future so I really hope that I'm on the upwards climb now.**

**Boss said you sometimes have to hit rock bottom before you can climb to the top, so maybe I've started on my way up the mountain again.**

**It seems with my new found looks that Rmandy wants more of my time, but Yashiro does an amazing job keeping me in check. I swear even if he can't use computers or technology his brain is like a mini hyper unit anyway. The amount of knowledge and data he stores away, he really is amazing though sometimes I catch him looking at me. Lately, he will ask me more personal questions, though not in a bad way. Now that we are good friends it seems he is more comfortable asking about my past. What do I tell him Kyoko-chan? Do I tell him that I murdered my last best friend? (**tear stains litter the lower part of the page**) I really shouldn't think about it. The boss is always telling me that is not my past now, that is not who I am now, but sometimes in the dark of the night or when I'm alone I still see it, all of it. His body bleeding and Tina screaming. I still hear her voice calling me a murderer.**

**How could I ever forget what I've done? He says forget it, but how is that even possible? After Rick's death his parents wanted to give me a keepsake of their son. They gave me his watch, it was something special to him and his wonderful mother gave it to me, his murderer! It's like a shackle Kyoko-chan. I say I have a woman in my bed, but I find myself sitting here wondering how long this one will last? How long will she stand beside a man who can never love her? Because it's true. I don't deserve love, not after what I did. I don't deserve to love so why do I keep doing this to myself, Kyoko-chan? Why do I bring them home? Why do I try to love them all when really I know its not truly going to happen? And it's only when I'm writing these blasted letters that I see all of me? The good, the bad, it all comes to my head when I sit down and write to you.**

**I had never really thought about it til now, but maybe Aunt Toshi was right? Maybe I am cursed. After I gave my sapphire to you, maybe I will never truly find love again. Even if one day I did deserve it, who could match up to that little girl at the creek?**

**I hope you are OK, Kyoko-chan and I bet you are growing into the most beautiful girl in the world. You will be 14 tonight, you know I've always written these letters on the 25****th** **and never even stopped to think to wish you Happy Birthday. I have done so now and I hope you have had a wonderful day.**

**Again Happy Birthday, Kyoko-chan,**

**Me**

There was nothing left in Kyoko to think with or feel. Her body,soul and mind had reached a point now that she was exceptionally calm. She had been through the full range of emotions: happiness, sadness, anger, jealousy and so many more and she had reached a point where she was just there. A higher place where she could just look on and not have to think or feel she just had to do her job. Dropping the letter on the read pile, she put her hand straight to the next letter number 19 and two to go.

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

**Please R&R**

**you know those moments**

**when you start writing and things you never even thought about**

**just come flooding into your head?**

**Things you would never do or think?**

**That's what I'm trying to express for Kuon in this letter**

**I'm trying to show how he goes from happy to**

**contemplative about his life and maybe how perfect its not.**

**Neh xxx**


	9. Chapter 9

**Just a warning I am Dyslexic so my stories will not be perfect but I now have one Beta reader to help me along the way :D**

**Thank you so much to Roshelle Diall for offering to work with me :D**

**Hello my sweeties,**

**8 letters down 3 to go.**

**Enjoy.**

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

No thoughts, no feelings just doing. That was the point she had gotten to now. She picked up letter 19 and looked at her name on the front, hardly registering it before she tore it open and pulled out the folded paper within.

**Kyoko-chan,**

**I've finally done it! This year I became the number one actor in Japan, I also got most huggable man, and number one bachelor plus some others, but none of them really matter. I finally feel I'm starting to get somewhere Kyoko-chan. After my realisation last year when writing to you, I have abstained from any relationships after she left me for another man. I think it's fair to say that I well and truly am cursed, but I've found that I can love my acting more. It takes away the loneliness and is something I can truly lose myself in.**

**I've made it to number one Kyoko-chan, but I find myself now wondering where I need to go next? I'm still not there yet I've not risen high enough to say I'm on equal footing with my father. There is still more I need to do, so much more. Lately I have been spending more time with Maria-chan. I mentioned her to you before, she's seven now and she is beautiful. She keeps telling me she is going to marry me and that I'm hers. Who needs Yashiro scowling when you have little Maria running around with a tub full of bugs scaring off potential love interests? Still, she makes me smile though I see in her a darkness. She has spoken to me about it a little and I was right. Her father's distance in his grief has become to her his hatred and he no longer even lives in this country, choosing to live in the US instead. He left her in her grandfather's care.**

**I wonder what you would tell her Kyoko-chan? If you were here would you be able to lift her darkness like you did for me all those years ago? I doubt my sapphire trick would have worked on Maria-chan like it did on you, but I just wished there was something I could do for her. Something that would make her feel less alone and less unloved, yet I cannot do it, Kyoko-chan. I tried, I told her my feelings and she just looked at me like I was telling her something she didn't believe. She seems to have lost her trust in adults, Kyoko-chan and I have no idea how to change that so for now I spend as much time as possible with her, hoping one day she will talk to me again or maybe one day someone like you will heal her. In an ideal world maybe you could heal me as well.**

**That's wishful thinking on my part. Do you know the number of times I've considered just jumping into my car and driving to Kyoto just to see if you're there? If you're still at that creek waiting for me? You wouldn't recognise me now I bet, but I suppose this is the new me and to be recognised would be a bad thing. It would mean I had failed being the new me. The me who is almost entirely the opposite of the darker side of myself. Can you imagine a man standing half in light and half in shadow? That's how I see myself now. I hide the shadow within but it's still there, just locked away so it cannot touch the light or maybe it really is like me with my new name. I've still not told you my name, but it's still not time yet, Kyoko-chan.**

**Happy 16****th** **Birthday, Kyoko-chan I hope you have had a wonderful day.**

**Me**

Kanae watched the cameras, waiting for any signs that she would be needed. Chiori sat next to her silent, the room was all silent as the cameras showed the young girl as she reached for the next letter in the box, dropping the one she had just read on top of the pile of read letters.

"You know, I will never forgive you if this hurts her?" Kanae said, eyes never leaving the screens. Someone behind her shifted uncomfortably

"I know, I will even supply the tools for my personal torture." a voice said. No one stirred, they just watched the girl on the screens

"She looks too calm, I'm going in there." Kanae stood and went to walk to the door. It was Chiori that grabbed her,

"This is the calm Kanae, the calm before the storm. She needs to be alone right now. She needs time to do this, it's important. We will be there when she needs us but not a moment before that. Now sit down, you're making me nervous." Kanae scowled at her but sat, arms crossed across her chest as she watched the screen.

"President what's in those letters?" she asked without turning to Lory who looked at the back of Kanae. It was stiff and he could see a slight tremble there.

_She's so scared for Kyoko, she doesn't know what to do with herself. I hope this was the right thing to do._

"Those letters tell a story, Kotonami-san, a story of a life much like what you have just been told, but that story comes from the eyes of the main character, if you like." Kanae turned and looked at him scowling,

"I will never forgive you either then, sir." Lory simply nodded and when Kanae turned away he smiled

_Neither will I Kanae, neither will I._

The room was silent as they watched and waited. No one spoke any further though Lory saw Chiori take Kanae's hand and squeeze it tight and then a small squeeze in return.

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

**Please R&R**

**thanks for the running reviews guys,**

**I know this is pretty unusual for someone**

**to be writing almost an entire story in a day**

**but you guys are keeping me going with your**

**support :)**

**Neh xxx**


	10. Chapter 10

**Just a warning I am Dyslexic so my stories will not be perfect but I now have one Beta reader to help me along the way :D**

**Thank you so much to Roshelle Diall for offering to work with me :D**

**Hello my sweeties,**

**now we get to the good stuff as you may expect :P**

**Enjoy.**

**vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvv**

She looked at the next letter. She wondered if she should stop here. How would this letter make her feel? (_How would you feel sitting there knowing this was the point that you rejoined a story? Would you pick up that letter?_) Kyoko sighed and just let her body move. Grabbing letter 20, she opened it slowly dropping the envelope. She hadn't even checked the name on the front.

**Kyoko,**

**I find myself at a loss for what to say, what to write. This year has been utterly and completely amazing, astounding, illogical and completely one of the best years of my life so far. Tonight or should I say this morning? This is the first time I have ever written one of these letters on the 26****th** **December and not the 25, but as a professional I will not give you an excuse but I will tell you why.**

**You see this year I met the most wonderful, amazing and beautiful young woman! She has completely and utterly captivated me to the point that when I'm around her I am no longer able to think straight. She fills my mind entirely and its only the last few months I've been able to understand why. She came to LME with one purpose, 'Revenge.' What was I supposed to say when I saw her trying to join the agency for such an unprofessional reason? We asked her to leave of course, but hell that girl didn't take no for an answer. She fought tooth and claw for her chance to prove herself and she got that chance in the form of the new talent auditions.**

**I was told later by an almost crying Sawara-san about this girl and how she had grabbed the president's interest instantly. How she wowed them all with her vegetable peeling art skills, I know it has a correct name but after Yashiro broke my phone again tonight teasing me about this girl, I'm unable to look it up. Well she did really well up until Boss's special test, the 'Love Test.' I remember Sawara-san cringing when he told me about the girl smashing the phone off the stage and how Boss had looked like he had just lost his most treasured toy. As expected, if she was unable to show love she wasn't suited for LME. But the thing about this girl was that once she was in your head, you couldn't forget about her and she slowly worked her way to your heart with all of her little quirks.**

**As expected, Boss said he couldn't forget her, he just had to have her. She was special in more than one way, she just had a weakness and one he was determined to fix. So he set up a plan and at first I was completely against it. I was even a little nasty to the girl, I'm ashamed to say. I wanted her to see that her revenge resolve and guts wouldn't work in this industry, but I'm happy to say she never listened to me. Even though she calls me senpai, I think I learn more from her everyday than I ever could at any acting school. The first time I acted against her she astounded me not only by how beautiful and different her character was with no training at all, but by her professionalism and for me, someone who has built up my reputation on that basis she amazed me. She sat through an entire tea scene with a broken ankle and refused to end the scene until I had finished my part before she collapsed. With the pain she must have been feeling, thinking on it now I hate myself for allowing her to do such a thing.**

**Though that was the start for both of us, I think. She found something to love more than her revenge plot and I found someone who amazed me completely. I saw as she healed Maria-chan of her guilt. Something I had been unable to do, she accomplished in one day becoming closer to the girl than I ever could. I watched her make friends with a girl that scared most others, but she found and understood her deeper self. Her true self she rarely showed to anyone was laid bare to this girl and they fought and won together bravely. She took care of me when I told her I didn't need taking care of only to find out how wrong I was, but truly how amazing she could be.**

**She worked hard to please everyone, and when given an opportunity she worked even harder. She passed her high school entrance exam with a 100 percent at a top school, easily becoming the most clever student they had. She even worked with the person she hated most as a professional. Even if it took her a little to get into her role, when she got there she wowed the producers, directors, cast and audiences alike with her performance. Then of course came her big part. She was chosen to be invited to work on a major drama. One that was said would break all records and one that would put her name in lights. Dark Moon.**

**Without that girl there I doubt I would have succeeded in my own role. She might have thought that she couldn't help me during that practice we did together. Holding her in my arms on the floor in my kitchen, I can honestly say that I knew at that moment exactly what Katsuki was feeling. I knew what it was to love a girl who was too young, that it was wrong for us to be together. In that moment I knew I loved her. I started to think more and more about her, she filled my waking and sleeping hours entirely, unless I was working and even then she wasn't far from my mind.**

**Then when she was attacked by a stalker and saved by the one who had originally hurt her so badly I was so angry. Not at her, but at him and at myself for not being there to protect her. I promised I would never allow it to happen again. God, how I love that girl and how silly love makes us. I wanted to kiss her so badly I made up a poor excuse after causing myself pain to eat with her. I said that I couldn't sleep without a pillow so I could use her lap. If only I wasn't so much of a coward, I could tell her how I feel. If she wasn't so much against love I could hold her like I've wanted to for so long.**

**So back to last night. Yashiro and I were invited by Maria-chan to their Happy Grateful Party. This was yet another amazing thing about this girl. Maria refused to celebrate any special occasions or holidays because they reminded her of the pain of her mother's death but that girl...she worked around it in a truly unique way. She made the girl a part of the party and a part of the planning. Even though it wasn't her plan, she allowed Maria the best opportunity to have the greatest birthday Maria-chan has ever had. As the clock struck 12 I was there to give her my own special gift.**

**I told you at the time Kyoko, and I will say it again now.**

**Happy 17****th** **Birthday Kyoko.**

**If I ever give you these letters it means that now we have found one another again. I would like to say how glad I was when my sapphire fell from the heavens, bringing you back to me that day after Ring Doh. At that time I couldn't believe how much you had changed because of your hurt. But what could I say when I had changed so much because of my own?**

**I'm glad I have found you again, my first true love.**

**Me**

Her hand fell to the pile of opened letters. Her eyes closed as tears silently fell from her eyes. In the room four doors down, Kanae and Chiori sat alone and waited. They knew their role now. They just had to wait and pray she would be OK.

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**Please R&R**

**Neh xxx**


	11. Chapter 11

**Just a warning I am Dyslexic so my stories will not be perfect but I now have one Beta reader to help me along the way :D**

**Thank you so much to Roshelle Diall for offering to work with me :D**

**Hello my sweeties,**

**the truth hits :D**

**Enjoy.**

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The president watched the portable screen as they waited. It was almost time. He watched as she placed the letter down. He saw her tears and he wanted to run and comfort the girl but this was for her. She needed this, she needed to know the truth.

Kyoko opened her eyes, her hand had already released the letter. Her mind was too foggy to register even the simplest thoughts.

_Just one more. Just one more then I can sleep or run or hide or maybe beg aliens to abduct me. It's just one more..._

She picked up the final letter.

**Kyoko,**

**By now you will have realised the truth about who I am. You are too smart and too clever not to and if you have made it all the way to this letter you will know the name I have hidden behind for so long.**

**Tsuruga was the place I was named in when Boss deemed me a new name so Tsuruga became my surname.**

**My first name was picked for its meaning.**

**Ren, or the lotus flower grows in muddy water and rises above the surface to bloom with remarkable beauty. At night, the flower closes and sinks underwater. At dawn, it rises and opens again. Untouched by impurity, the lotus symbolizes the purity of heart and mind. It also represents long life, health, honour and good luck.**

**I suppose Boss hoped it would give me all of those things, but the name wasn't enough to save me. No matter what my name had been, there was only one person who saved me the past two years and every single time that person has been you. That day when I crashed doing the car stunt it was you Kyoko-chan, that day when Setsu was accosted outside the clothes store it was you Kyoko. The day I was ready to kill Murasame it was you Kyoko who saved my life. Over and over again, time after time you never gave up on me.**

**You did so much this year and grew so much and I watched you every step of the way. Last year it was still too hard for me to talk about but you made your way into the heart of my parents and you made me see how much they truly did care even after I thought they had disowned me.**

**How can you not see how simply amazing you are, Kyoko? How can you not see what you do to me? Or how you make me feel?**

**There is so much more I want to tell you, Kyoko I don't even think all of these letters over all of these years can do any justice to just how much you have meant to me for all these years. You have always been supporting me Kyoko. Even in my darkest moments, you were my light guiding me home and today I want to try and repay you for all that you have done for me. Today I want you to hear and understand just how special you are and I want the whole world to know this.**

**Kyoko, if you still care for me after all I have told you. If you still care for Corn or Kuon in the box is a magical wand. All you need to do is wave it and you will see the next part of your fairy tale unfold. If not Kyoko, you can place the letter back in the box and wait a few moments. There will be friends nearby to support you.**

**Kyoko this is now your choice. I have bared my heart and soul to you and I have told you all the wrong things in my life all the terrible things I have done. I have finally had the courage to tell you that I do honestly and truly love you and have done so since you were six years old. You have been my rock, my guiding light and I know what I am asking of you is a big choice, but I need to know do you wish for the magic to continue? If you choose to end it here I will never speak of this matter again.**

**The choice is yours.**

**Corn**

**Tsuruga Ren**

**Hizuri Kuon**

Four sets of eyes were glued to two different screens as they waited. Their time had come and it was up to Kyoko now. They all knew it. As the clock slowly ticked by Kyoko remained unmoving. Her brain just could figure it all out. She couldn't take it all in. How was she supposed to choOse anything when she felt like she was drowning? One set of eyes moved from their observant position and exited through the door.

The knock on the door roused her slightly as she called

"Come in." the door opened and in the same second Kanae, Chiori and Lory all had the same thing to say:

"What the hell is he doing?"

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**Please R&R**

**as it is past 1am in the morning I will leave it at this for today**

**:) I'm now expecting to be slaughtered in my sleep XD**

**its not much of a cliff hanger :P**

**the more reviews I get the sooner you get the answer,**

**its always nice to wake up to some nice reviews :)**

**Neh xxx**


	12. Chapter 12

**Just a warning I am Dyslexic so my stories will not be perfect but I now have one Beta reader to help me along the way :D**

**Thank you so much to Roshelle Diall for offering to work with me :D**

**Hello my sweeties,**

**I got called evil for leaving you all on a**

**cliffhanger when I myself never**

**can stand to leave it more than a few days**

**Enjoy.**

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"What the hell is he doing?" Chiori and Kanae both jumped up and were thinking of running to the door when they started speaking in the room,

"Hello Sebastian-san, do you need something? Or are you maybe my support that the letter spoke of?" Kyoko looked up at the aid, the tear marks on her face still glistening slightly. If she would've been able to think clearly, she may have even been a little ashamed at herself but the aid just smiled.

"No Miss Mogami-san, I'm not your support. That would be miss Kotonami-san and miss Amamiya-san, they are just down the hallway If you wish me to call for them. First, if I may talk to you and if I may speak frankly?" Kyoko looked at the man who still stood by the door. He had always been there at Lory's side, ever present and ever looking out for her.

"Of course, Sebastian-san. You don't need to ask. Please sit down." he seemed, if anything, more serious than usual. She didn't know how that could be possible but he did.

"Thank you, Mogami-san." he said. As he walked properly into the room he didn't sit but he did speak,

"Mogami-san, I have watched you from the very start when you came to this company as a determined child until now. You are an amazing actress with her whole life ahead of her. I have sat and watched as you have struggled through bad times and cheered you on when you succeeded. I know the position you have been put in tonight and if you will accept it, though I will not give you an answer to your problem, I will give you my opinion on the matter as it is something I feel very strongly about." Kyoko looked at him astounded.

_So this is what he meant by speaking frankly._

she thought as she nodded for him to continue,

"Thank you, Mogami-san. I want you to clear your mind for the moment, Mogami-san. I know it probably feels like you're ten feet underwater but take a few deep breaths and just listen to my voice." Kyoko did as she was asked, inhaling deeply as she listened to the aide speak.

"When I was younger I was hurt very badly by the one I believed I loved Mogami-san, very much like yourself and Fuwa-san. I was tossed aside and it hurt badly, my heart never truly healed from that experience. Years later I met the most wonderful woman. She was kind and beautiful, smart and funny and if I had realised then what I know now I loved her dearly. But I was unable to let go Mogami-san. I was too scared of being hurt again that I missed my chance to tell that wonderful woman what I thought about her. I lost my chance at regaining the happiness all due to my own fear." she watched as silent tears fell from the aid's eyes. Her mind was clear now, the man who had never really shown any emotion was standing before her crying and her heart wept for his pain.

"I do not wish for you to make the same mistake as me, Mogami-san. The fact is we all get these chances in life and we are all tied to people by fate, if you will. But if we are too scared of being hurt we will never really be able to move forwards. I was saved by Lory-sama in my darkest moment and he taught me all of this and so much more. If you are Love Me member number one, I suppose I would be the beginning of that, though maybe I would be Love Me number zero. You are a wonderful, clever and beautiful young woman, Mogami-san. Do not let the fear of your past hurts hobble your feet on the path to your future. You are worth so much more than that." Kyoko was crying now, but at his words her brain seemed to have cleared. The box in her heart had no traces of the locks she had placed around had simply vanished.

"I thank you for your time, Mogami-san." he said as he turned to leave.

"Sebastian-san?" he paused and looked at her,

"Yes, Mogami-san?" he asked as he watched her fumble for her words,

"What happened to the woman you loved?" she knew that it was a rude question but she just had to know.

"She died Mogami-san, it was unexpected and sudden, which is how I came to realise life is too short to waste on fear." he walked a few more steps before Kyoko's soft words reached his ears

"I'm sure she knew you loved her. Even if you never said the words, I'm sure she knew." he just nodded softly as he exited the room. Kyoko turned back to the vanity unit and looked at the pile of open letters. Walking over, she gently stroked the last letter.

_I've made my choice, Corn. Forgive me._

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**Please R&R**

**so who guessed correctly who it was?**

**Neh xxx**


	13. Chapter 13

**Just a warning I am Dyslexic so my stories will not be perfect but I now have one Beta reader to help me along the way :D**

**Thank you so much to Roshelle Diall for offering to work with me :D**

**Hello my sweeties,**

"**To love others you must first love yourself."**

― Leo Buscaglia

**Enjoy.**

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The people who were watching felt their hearts leap as Kyoko picked up the letters carefully.

"**NO, NO! SHE CAN'T DO THAT!" **Kanae screamed and darted out of the room with Chiori on her heels as they ran the short distance to the room. Kanae slammed open the door and shouted out her heart at her best friend,

"**YOU CAN'T DO THAT KYOKO! IF YOU CAN'T LEARN TO LOVE AGAIN WHAT HOPE DO I HAVE?" **Kanae was crying, tears pouring from her eyes. True tears not the false tears she could summon at will. These were real tears as her heart wrenched for the girl before her and for herself, the girl who never showed emotion. She had fought for this girl's affection from the man who was now laying out his soul to her. She couldn't watch her friend throw that away.

She looked at Kyoko through tear-blurred eyes as she sobbed deep in her chest, she could see the shining eyes and the sweet smile on her lips as she looked at Kanae,

"Oh Moko-san, you already know how to love." Kanae's eyes cleared slightly, seeing her looking happy. She saw the magic wand in her hand and the TV that had flickered to life in the wall. Within moments, she was sobbing in Kyoko's arms. Chiori was hugging her too as they all stepped backwards to sit on the king sized bed together to watch the magic unfold.

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"**Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, press and paparazzi as I'm sure some have snuck in somewhere." **the crowd laughed as the lights went out. The room was pitch black and in the centre of the room a rumbling sound as the floor rose five feet into the air. A spotlight lit on what had been a fountain and was now sinking out of view as stairs shot out from the sides of the rising stage, making it look like an over large birthday cake. Lory rose up from the centre dressed in black trousers, a puffed white shirt, a black cape lined with red silk and a white mask covering half his face. The Phantom of the Opera had arrived.

When all movement halted, people applauded as the TV crews prepared to record. Their cameras flashed. Certain news networks had been invited and some press which meant there was something special going on tonight and they wanted to be ready. Kyoko and the girls were watching the hall live from the bedroom they sat in. They watched as the stage was set and listened intently as Lory graced it.

"**My dear friends, tonight we are here to witness the death of one of my beloved Phoenixes."**

the room as silent murmurs with words like 'A death?' and 'What does he mean?' rang clearly around the room as Lory smiled at everyone.

"**Now do not be alarmed, we have been here before. When one of my beautiful children sheds their old feathers to be reborn again leaving behind his stage name for his real name." **now this caused a stir as he knew it would. The name on everybody's lips in that second was Hizuri Kuu.

"**He asked to do this here tonight in front of you all not because he wishes for the publicity, but as he told me that the people in this room are his friends they are the people he cares about. The ones he wishes to know the truth, I will not bore you with unneeded chatter as I know he has a lot to say. So without further ado I have kept my promise. I have set your stage you have walked upon it proudly and now I give the stage to you." **Lory stepped off the stage. Slightly to the right, everyone was looking around as a hooded and cloaked figure no one had really noticed walked out of the shadows and shook Lory's hand. With long purposeful steps, he took to the stage shrouded in mystery as none could see his face. He slowly removed the black and billowing robe.

"Tsuruga Ren!" the shocked murmur went up as Ren stood on the stage tall and proud as he looked at the people surrounding him

"**My friends, I have to thank you all for being here tonight. Even if it isn't my party the birthday girl has allowed me special permission to speak with you all." **he turned and looked at the large clock which read 11:45 pm.

"**I better start talking fast since I've only got 15 more minutes before the spell is broken." **People giggled and chuckled as he tossed aside the robe and pulled his jacket straight, smiling.

"**There are no words to express what my job means to me and what all my friends and family mean to me. Your support through the last six years of my life have been one of the reasons I can stand here today. I owe a lot of you great thanks which I doubt I could ever truly convey, but before I became who I am today I was known by a different name. I came to Japan following a light of hope after my life was turned upside down by the death of my closest and dearest friend, who died so I could live." **murmurs filled the room and people looked on at the tall actor with sorrow-filled eyes.

"**Do not feel sorrow for me, that time has come and passed. For years I blamed myself for his death. If I hadn't been so cocky, arrogant and foolhardy, he may still have been alive today. But somebody very special to me taught me something very important. We all make our own choices in this world and we all have our paths to follow as well as our dreams to reach. Maybe this was just one of those things fate decided. I never believed in fate, I hated the idea that my life was already written for me and that I didn't have a choice. But maybe fate isn't such a clear-cut thing. Maybe it just shows us paths we could choose and follows us depending on our choices? Well I hope to think that this very special and important person is part of that fate." **the room was completely silent, with all of their minds trying to figure out only one thing. Was this a confession of love? Or was he revealing his name? Who was he to have such a sorry past?

"**I came to Japan as I said to leave behind my past otherwise it was pretty sure to have killed me. But there was always a little part of my past that I could never forget. She was my first love and the one I promised my heart to after only a few days of knowing her. She was six years old and I was ten. Even after all the bad things that have happened to me and even though we never contacted each other again after those few days, she held a special place in my heart. She kept me moving forwards with just the memories of her. Even when I cast away everything but my body to become Ren, she was something I was unable to cast away.**

**Then a few years ago who should walk back into my life but that very same girl who had kept me going all those years. To begin with, I didn't realise we had both changed so much. She had been hurt to the point she was unable to love and I was not the boy I once had been. To be pretty frank we actually hated each other in the beginning. I think we always seemed to catch each other at the wrong times and without knowing it we were able to bring out each other's true selves which caused a lot of headaches. But in time we were able to become friends and without realising it I found one day that I was completely and indubitably in love with her." **small murmurs began again and a few people watched Ren smiling almost knowingly. Ren could see the smiles of Director Ogata, Kijima, Momose and a few others from casts and productions they had worked on together.

"**It makes me wonder how obvious it was to others as I see a knowing smile on some of your faces." **Ren chuckled along with the people he could see smiling in that knowing way.

"**I had decided long ago I would not return to my true name until I could do so under my own power. Until I could say I had truly become the man I wanted to be so I could hold my head up high and walk proudly. I thought I would obtain this through my acting, but it never seemed to be enough to catch up to the level where he walked. It never seemed to feel like I had achieved what I had set out to do. Then suddenly, a few weeks ago as I finished filming 'The Winds of Time' I realised something. The reason I never could reach that level was because there are things in life you cannot do alone and there are times in life you need someone beside you to lean on, to care for you.**

**Tonight, I have confessed my love to that girl. I have told her all my secrets. She knows everything, including what a little blue "Corn" stone is really worth." **Ren smiled and looked about at the crowd.

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Kanae sat up slightly from their hugging position on the bed and putting her hand in her pocket pulled out the sapphire stone, handing it to Kyoko who was crying again, silent tears running down her cheeks as they watched Ren on the stage.

"I asked Okami-san and I brought this here for you at his request." she said as she placed the stone in Kyoko's hand. Closing her fingers around it, Kyoko just nodded silently. Her eyes were glued to the TV screen as Ren looked back at the clock: 11:55 pm.

"**My magic is nearly running out it seems, so I would like to thank you all again for supporting me as Tsuruga Ren, but as of tonight that man is no longer of this world." **reaching up his hand he pulled off the wig of brown hair, revealing his true golden locks before he swiftly cleared the contact lenses from his eyes revealing eyes of the deepest blue.

"**As of this evening I would officially like you to be present at the rebirth of Hizuri Kuon."**

The room went mad. Women screamed and men gasped as before them stood the only son of Japan's most famous actor's son. He and his wife were living legends in Japan. To think their son had been among them all this time and they had never known it. Kuon gave them a few moments to digest the news before he continued.

"**If you would please bear with me there is just one more thing I would like you all to witness. Fairy godmothers, if you would please?" **The room was confused as he spoke to fairies? What was going on now? In the bedroom the TV was on but no eyes watched the screen.

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"**I promise not to take much more of your time up, but this is something I must make perfectly clear to someone very special to me." **a second spotlight suddenly blazed to life, pointing to the top of the grand staircase where stood a woman dressed fully in gold. The crowd gasped in awe at the beauty that stood before them. Her face was obscured by a beautiful but elaborate gold masquerade mask. As she slowly lifted her skirts and made her way slowly down the stairs, the crowd parted as Kuon walked towards her and they met halfway down the stairs. He bowed as she curtseyed; like a prince and princess they stood there before everyone as the clock struck midnight.

Kuon was shaking slightly as he got down on one knee before his princess. Pulling a box from his pocket, he opened it before her

"**Mogami Kyoko, will you marry me?" **he asked as the crowd was suddenly and completely silent: not even the TV crews moved or spoke though a few of the undercover paparazzi managed to get a few pictures in as they hung on the words of the beautiful woman before him.

"Yes!" was her single love-filled reply as the room exploded with cheering, stamping of feet and shouts.

Julie cried with Okami-san and Kuu hugged the tall man beside him as everyone looked on with tears in their eyes as Kuon stood placing the ring on the woman's finger before taking her in his arms and kissing her. It was like the scene from a fairy tale and everyone watching would always remember it. As people started to realise Kuon had named his true love Mogami Kyoko as with all couplings in the celebrity world there will be people who think that they are more deservant or that it's incorrect, but the larger populous decided this was an amazing matchup.

Kuon switched off his shirt microphone before kissing the girl he loved. The girl who had just agreed to marry him.

"I love you Kyoko and I always have. Happy Birthday." her face was mostly covered still by the mask but he could still see the emotion flaming in her golden eyes.

"I love you too Corn, and I am never letting you go again."

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Later that morning, it seemed like everyone in the entire room had wished them well and had spoken to them, congratulated them and all other manner of things including giving Kyoko small birthday presents and tokens. Kuon never thought he would stop smiling as he introduced Kyoko to his astounded Aunt Toshi, how his parents hugged them both so hard and his mother cried more. There was one man standing beside Lory in a traditional yukata, elegant in black with silver cranes embroidered onto it, he bowed to the older man with white hair.

"Grandfather, I know it's late, but I would like to introduce you to my chosen match." he said formally as he stood again and looked at his grandfather, who smiled so warmly at them both that Kyoko felt herself blushing.

"You have never disappointed me as a grandchild. Even if you are a little late and doing things your own way Kuon, this time is no exception. She is a beautiful young woman and you kept your promise to me that you would once again find the girl who carried your sapphire and make the promise that stone held come true." he bowed to Kuon before turning his attention to Kyoko,

"Do you still carry the stone, my child?" he asked. As his warm smile so much like Kuon's washed over her, she nodded blushing as she reached the stone out of a small pocket Julie had sown into the dress for that purpose. She had told Kanae when she had explained the situation to them while Kyoko had read the letters. She held the stone out to him on her palm and he slowly clasped her hands firmly around her hand, enclosing the stone.

"That is yours my child, but I would like to ask how you will be having the stone cut? Or what will you be having it made into?" all attention was on Kyoko, her mask had been discarded a long time ago after Jelly had rushed her off to apply waterproof makeup. Though she had told Kyoko no one would deny her tears on such a happy day, she may as well look beautiful whilst crying.

Kyoko looked down at the strong hands holding hers, then to the man standing beside her.

"If you please, Hizuri-sama, I should not have the stone cut in anyway." she said slowly and all eyes looked confused as the older man smiled at her with a loving twinkle in his eyes.

"And why is that my dear?" he asked Kyoko who had been feeling nervous until she saw the light in the older man's eyes spoke out now, clearly and certainly.

"Because sir, the stone is perfect just the way it is. It may not sparkle on the outside and it may be a little worn around the edges, but to me it is perfect just like the boy who gave it to me and later the man who promised me his heart." the smile on the older man's face was the largest any had seen it since a long time before. He beamed down at the young woman before him as she whispered for his ears alone

"Not everything has to shine to be perfect." he smiled at her.

"I couldn't agree more."

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**13 chapters in under 48 hours :D**

**well what did you all think?**

**Please R&R**

**Neh xxx**


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